On Saturday, the 21st edition of the Kids’ Choice Awards brought its tween screams to USCs Galen Center. The show handed out its trophies (bright orange blimps that weigh about 2 pounds) and reveled in its grand tradition of drenching celebrities in slime (Halle Berry got surprised with a kiss at the Academy Awards; on Saturday she got a face full of soupy green goop) but also offered moments of unintentional hilarity.

A boy band called Big Time Rush won a blimp for favorite music act, and one of the members poignantly declared that the group had “waited a long time for this” because, well, you know, it’s been 15 whole months since their debut album was released.

Still, is it better to be coated in green or tinged with gray? We attended the Saturday show with a plan to compare the Oscars and Kids Choice Awards to see which one is really pushing the envelope in audience satisfaction. Here’s how were graded the galas.

The Carpet: The rug is red at the Oscars, but for the Kids Choice Awards they roll out an orange carpet. Instead of Brad Pitt, the man of the hour on Saturday was Josh Hutcherson of “The Hunger Games” and (according to an unscientific measure of sidewalk screaming) is second only to Justin Bieber as the most desired boyfriend in the Clearasil nation. The Academy Awards are haute couture, Kids Choice Awards are Hot Topic. Inane questions and comments await the celebrities walking down both carpets but there are some differences. “You look like youve grown since last year,” one chipper KCAs announcer told teen heartthrob Cody Simpson. EDGE: OSCARS

The Audience: The Oscars audience is producers, actors, agents, executives — the elite of Hollywood in rented gowns and insured jewelry. The Nickelodeon audience is kids (and their shellshocked parents) who cheer, scream, dance, sing and never ever grow weary of famous people getting slimed. (The weird thing is the stars are always surprised. Taylor Lautner totally should have seen that coming, right?) The KCA crowd is unflagging in its enthusiasm; they greeted singer Katy Perry with a passionate chant of “Kay-tee! Kay-tee!” and kept cheering even after her shaky-key performance. Even when faced with Perrys farewell threat — “I cant wait to do Smurfs 2!” — they just kept cheering. Clearly, this is a crowd drinking the Kool-Aid. EDGE: BLIMPS

The Voters: The Oscars voters take heat for being stuffy, too old and out of touch with mainstream tastes. The Kids Choice Awards voters (anyone with access to the Internet) handed their favorite actor award to Adam Sandler. For “Jack & Jill.” EDGE: OSCARS

The Hosts: Tough call. Old reliable Billy Crystal was back as Oscars host this year, but Saturdays host, Will Smith, is the king of the KCAs — he has won more Blimps than any other star. Smith was lowered from the rafters, danced, sang and went into the crowd to mug for the cameras — but he was oddly flat for much of the show. However, he did two extraordinary things: First, he never once plugged his upcoming film “Men in Black 3″ or mentioned its release date. Second, at the end of the show he grabbed Bieber, pinned back his arms and held the pop star helpless as he was pounded by an impressive geyser of green slime. Way to finish, Big Willie. EDGE: BLIMPS

The Tiebreaker: Both shows have their faults, each has their special magic. So how to choose a winner? Well, the 84th Academy Awards stretched out to three hours and 14 minutes. The Kids’ Choice Awards, on the other hand, started at 5 p.m. and had us out the door by 6:40 p.m. Suddenly, Big Rush sounds like a good idea, because none of us are getting any younger. OUR WINNER: BLIMPS

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